![]() A good reason to be wounded, women start ripping off their clothes to bandage you up.I love the “shortcut” through a suburban backyard.Charlie Sheen remarks before a particularly energetic fight sequence, “I learned this one from Paula Abdul.” Paula Abdul was married to Charlie Sheen’s brother, Emilio Estevez, at the time of the film’s release.The worst motivational story involving a fairy tale.The collateral casualties during the bloodsport match.I want one of those Lincoln cookie jars. ![]() The one president who falls down for no reason. ![]() Apocalypse Now parody, complete with Martin Sheen!.Let us hope and pray that we see a rebirth of the intelligent dumb humor movie, and soon! Do you want your sweet and sour pork with a side order of FIST? Well, do ya, punk? Hot Shots! Part Deux was also the end of a great era of parody flicks, hailing back to the era of Airplane! While parts of Jane Austin’s Mafia and BASEketball occasionally rose to the occasion, we’ve degenerated into slip-shod crap fests like Scary Movie. And hey, this is probably the only film where you’ll actually get a body count counter on the screen as the carnage proceeds. A pretty decent supporting cast backs up Sheen as well, including Lloyd Bridges as the patchwork President, Ryan Stiles (Drew Carey Show) as a guy who really likes to blow things up, and the ever-terrific Miguel Ferrer as a man who rediscovers his love of movie slaughter. I’ve always been very partial to the second Hot Shots!, mostly because I saw it like four times in the theater and still haven’t run out of little details to notice and laugh about. More celeb cameos could learn a thing or two from this. ![]() Perhaps its most shining moment came when Topper’s on a boat doing an inner-voice monologue a la Apocalypse Now, and suddenly Martin Sheen is on a boat going the opposite way actually doing the original lines from Apocalypse Now. HS!PD takes its slices of pie from a wide range of popular movies, most notably Rambo and Commando, but not forsaking the “what does this have to do with war-action?” titles like Lady and the Tramp and Basic Instinct. Despite being a Navy pilot in the first film, Harley is called back into service as a gung-ho (what’s a gung, and what’s it hoing for?) one-man army, sent to rescue the guys who went in to rescue the guys who got caught in Iraq. Charlie Sheen, once again convincing me that his future lies in comedy and not anything remotely serious, returns as the ultra-macho Topper Harley. Yes indeed, whether you just generally dislike Saddam Hussein or want to see a guy beat up with gummi bears (PoolMan, this is you), there’s no reason not to embrace HS!PD as part of your daily intake of chuckles. Perhaps the sacrifices that Stallone and Schwartzenegger fought and died and rose again for one last blow for don’t deserve such shabby treatment, but we do need the hallowed grounds of movie wisdom to keep the world in proper perspective. These subjects of which I speak about, of course, are the honorable “war flick” and “action-fest”. Hot Shots! Part Deux continues a long-standing tradition of annoying me by putting excitable punctuation in the middle of sentences, and also taking holy and sacred subjects and treating them Marx Bros. In which case it’s best to develop a nervous twitch and blame everything naughty you say in class as a “Clareism”. Yes kids, when you don’t know who to trust, trust us. While most critics are well and good as a part of the natural food chain (resting comfortably between “mosquito” and “malaria”), the Mutant Army must take a firm stance against such blatant disregard for funny when it comes to the ilk of movie parodies and their ilky sequels. Heck, usually they don’t bother to even watch it, electing instead to glance casually at the movie poster and fudge a few details from their dusty review of Airplane II: The Sequel! And if you think they hate those kinds of films, you can only imagine their sheer delight and ecstasy as they face a sequel. We think it’s because laughter will kill them on contact, much like water and the Wicked Witch of the West. Justin’s review: Now, fussy critics, used to their tea and crumpets and lace doileys, really dislike parody and rapid-fire gag flicks as a matter of standard practice. Summary Capsule: Topper returns to deliver a little one-man justice to the Middle East. The Scoop: PG-13 1993, directed by Jim Abrahams and starring Charlie Sheen, Lloyd Bridges and Valeria Golino.
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